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One Breath at a Time: Mindfulness & the Long Game of Cultivating Anti-Racism at Work with Del Likins
53:44 with TreehouseUsing lecture & practice, we'll explore how mindfulness can help white folks recognize, regulate, & respond to the sometimes invisible hand of racism at work.
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[MUSIC]
0:00
Well, hello, Del, you ready?
0:06
Hey, there.
0:10
Sorry about that,
0:11
moving from one place to another
virtually it's sometimes a challenge.
0:12
But hey, listen y'all, it is my pleasure
to introduce Del Likins to the stage.
0:16
Del has been a student of mindfulness for
21 years and has been teaching for seven.
0:22
Growing up in Silicon Valley,
0:29
the single mindedness of tech culture led
them to pursue a Buddhist college and
0:31
numerous years in immersive
community-based learning processes.
0:36
Highly influenced by the renormalization
work of Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams,
0:41
Del's approach center models
that route us in the body and
0:47
locate us between our ancestors and
future beings.
0:51
Their professional life engaged
in meditation instruction,
0:55
documentary filmmaking.
1:00
Anti-burnout training and activists
trends and mental health advocacy and
1:02
international research on epigenetics and
intergenerational trauma.
1:07
Del is currently earning a couples and
family counseling degree from Lewis and
1:13
Clark College, I know where that is.
1:17
Please welcome, Del.
1:20
>> All right, here we go.
1:23
So, a little bit about me.
1:25
Hopefully you know why you've
come to this session and
1:28
I'm gonna get into hearing
who's in the room here shortly.
1:30
But first, let me just tell you
a little bit about who I am,
1:33
where I'm coming from and
my entry points to this work.
1:35
So again, my name is Del Likins,
my pronouns are they/them/theirs.
1:38
And I did grow up in the Silicon Valley in
the 90s, which is unceded Ohlone land for
1:41
those of you who follow indigenous names.
1:45
It's important that we recognize that
tribal lands that we are on today.
1:48
Multnomah, Clackamas, Piute, oops,
pardon me, that's in Colorado.
1:52
So, why did I get into tech or what was
it like growing up in Silicon Valley?
1:58
It seems pretty obvious for me who was
a queer kid really more interested in
2:02
theater than in coding like my father did.
2:07
I noticed that I didn't have
a language for it at the time, but
2:11
tech didn't seem as equitable or
embodied as I was looking for.
2:14
I wanted peer-to-peer relationships,
I wanted play,
2:17
I wanted to be living in my human form.
2:20
But as often happens,
2:23
folks find their way into tech through
a lot of different entry points,
2:24
and I wound up going through a boot
camp in, what year was that, 2017, 2018.
2:27
And I had my first tech job
a few years prior in 2015.
2:32
Along the way, finding my way through
the world that we live in, I did earn
2:35
a bachelor's of contemplative psychology
from Naropa University in Boulder,
2:39
Colorado and I am working on my master's
degree in family therapy currently.
2:43
As I mentioned in my intro,
I've been a practicing for about 20 years,
2:47
I had my first exposure at age nine.
2:51
I've been a formal scholar for ten
years and facilitating for about seven.
2:54
And along those, what can sound like
diverging paths have been built in and
2:57
prioritized community organization,
3:03
can be activism around LGBTQ+ issues
also ecological conservation.
3:06
And specifically anti-racism and as this
presentation sort of anchors confronting
3:11
whiteness and white supremacy has become a
really central part of the work that I do.
3:15
And we're gonna explore today why that is.
3:20
I work through a consultancy,
this is my my brand begin with.in,
3:25
that's the website,
you can check it out later if you like.
3:27
But, this is here we are.
3:30
All right, so who's here?
3:33
I can imagine that this topic is this
presentation today is brought together
3:35
folks with all different kinds of
backgrounds, the intersection.
3:38
So using the poll feature,
I wanna hear a little bit about,
3:41
this is the first
question we're gonna use.
3:43
Hopefully you'll see the poll
feature popping up here.
3:45
And if you go into that tab,
how familiar are you with mindfulness?
3:47
Are you in every days as an expert?
3:50
[LAUGH] Is this a buzzword
that you've heard of?
3:53
Let me hear a little bit about
what your experiences so far.
3:56
Okay, looking for the poll.
4:05
Folks getting access to the poll?
4:13
Okay, I'm not seeing the poll rising.
4:27
All right, Well,
let's give it another minute.
4:40
Okay, we might have
missed out on the poll.
5:08
That said, let's go ahead and press on.
5:11
Likely there is a span of experience here.
5:14
Folks, again, may have had little
encounter with meditation and
5:17
mindfulness so far, you maybe
coming with a lot of information.
5:21
I've created this presentation today
to cover a broad span of experience, so
5:24
hopefully everyone has a little
something to get out of this.
5:28
The second important question that I
really wanna hear from, just kidding.
5:32
Let's start.
5:36
Let's do a little bit of practice to
drop in and see what this is like.
5:37
[COUGH] So I'm gonna offer just a very
brief invitation to those of you who
5:40
don't have a mindfulness practice or
meditation practice.
5:45
If you have one that you'd like to do,
be my guest.
5:49
This is all everything I
offer here is an invitation,
5:51
you are welcome to say no at any time.
5:53
So the instructions that I was given for
Shamatha meditation is to come to
5:56
an upright posture, allowing your
spine to be upright but relaxed.
6:01
One of my favorite pieces of
meditation instruction is that we,
6:06
through this process,
aim to be both soft and strong.
6:09
So you can think about
the strength of your back upright.
6:12
Or if you're laying down flat, perhaps
the strength of the earth beneath you,
6:14
supporting you.
6:18
And, the softness of your
belly cuz human form you have.
6:19
So allowing those elements of strength and
softness to come together.
6:22
For those sitting, the invitation is to
have your shoulders come all the way back
6:28
off your spine, so allowing those
shoulders and your chest to open up.
6:32
You don't know where your hands go
feeling a little strange about them,
6:36
you can just go ahead and
6:38
bend your elbows gingerly place them
wherever feel comfortable in your lap.
6:39
There's no right or wrong way to do this.
6:42
And to alert, pardon me,
elongate the cervical spine,
6:44
tuck your chin just about slightly to
in your gaze about 45 degrees down.
6:47
And you can either close your eyes or let
them have we're about halfway close and
6:51
just relax.
6:55
[SOUND] So,
6:59
I mentioned there's been a lot going
on today here in the festival,
7:06
a lot that you've encountered.
7:09
This is their first moment within this
session to just sort of drop into
7:10
your body.
7:14
Come into contact with your breathing.
7:16
Not aiming to change or shift or
reach any kind of goal with this shift.
7:25
It's just noticing what is
noticing what's occurring.
7:29
Sometimes, folks,
get the idea that in mindfulness,
7:48
we're supposed to empty our minds,
we're supposed to be blank canvases.
7:51
That is not the instruction that I have
received, or how I like to facilitate.
7:55
One invitation,
7:59
if you notice that your mind is full of
thoughts which minds are prone to do.
8:00
You can think about them
as conceptualize or
8:05
feeling to them being
like clouds passing by.
8:08
Our goal is not, again,
to empty but just to notice.
8:12
There's a thought.
8:17
And when we do notice,
we come back gently, gently,
8:19
gently coming back to the practice,
checking back in with our posture,
8:22
noticing points of contact on our chair or
cushion.
8:26
Coming back to breathing their skin.
8:33
What is it like to try and
be with this one sensation?
8:38
One thing at a time, one breath at a time.
8:42
Training our minds to focus
on one experience, and
8:46
be really fully present here
with the sensation of breathing.
8:50
That's all we got to do.
8:54
Okay, on the next outbreath,
9:06
I invite you to seal your practice in
whatever way feels meaningful to you.
9:07
I promise we're gonna come
back to more of this but
9:10
we have a lot of content to go over today,
so let's press on.
9:12
And remember that anytime
during this presentation,
9:15
you can always touch back in
to the sensation of breathing.
9:17
You always have the resource of
this practice here with you.
9:20
Let's keep going.
9:24
Yeah, all right,
I hope the chat box is working for us.
9:27
What did you notice is my favorite
9:32
question to ask when I
facilitate sessions?
9:33
What did you notice?
9:35
Okay, we've got some good
familiarity here, excellent.
9:38
Here we go.
9:48
Thank you, thank you, everyone.
9:51
All right So,
9:58
back here in the session chat,
we are asking,
10:06
what did you notice in the session,
in this practice?
10:09
Any feedback, anything surprising,
anything feeling itchy?
10:12
Let me hear at least a couple folks.
10:18
Mm-hm, tension in the shoulders.
10:20
The hum of the electronics,
yeah, got that going on too.
10:29
Yeah, sounds like things
that maybe were familiar,
10:33
maybe some things that we hadn't noticed
before dropping into the practice.
10:36
Well, let me see here.
10:42
All right,
we're gonna move on to our second poll.
10:47
Thank you for sharing.
10:49
Audience participation is an important
part of this presentation, so thank you.
10:51
Let's talk about how we
relate to anti-racism.
10:55
There should be a poll
here in the session.
10:58
Let's hear about what our
relationship is with anti-racism.
11:02
Which of these numbers best
matches your experience so far?
11:08
All right.
11:17
Cool, got a number of anti-racists
in the room, that's great, terrific.
11:22
All right, let's keep going.
11:31
Perhaps you've heard of
passive white liberalism.
11:35
For those of you who identified
actively as an anti-racist,
11:40
you probably are familiar with this idea
that intentions don't often equal impacts.
11:43
And that white liberals are often
very well intentioned, but
11:47
reinforce tenets of white supremacy
culture out of ignorance of their impact.
11:51
Some of these most common tropes and some
of the most violent ones are that I don't
11:56
see color, or that there is no problem,
or that I'm a non-racist.
12:00
Pardon me,
[SOUND] to avoid this cat hollering off,
12:03
I'm just opening the door for her.
12:08
COVID life, all right, here we go.
12:10
Let's talk about
committing to anti-racism.
12:13
The reason that I'm a non-racist or
that I don't see color are incredibly
12:15
problematic is because we have to
acknowledge that we eat, sleep, breathe,
12:20
and live in a white supremacist culture.
12:24
We've all learned its values, we are all
navigating them every day of our lives.
12:27
We participate in their structures.
12:33
It's essentially impossible
to leave it behind.
12:35
None of us are exempt.
12:38
And for the ways in which white supremacy
likes to say, I'm a good white person,
12:39
I've done enough, that is an attempt
to omit ourselves from the problem.
12:46
And it's essential that we
see ourselves as part of it.
12:51
We are intrinsically part of this.
12:54
So, anti-racism, again, acknowledges
this bias is intrinsic in our society,
12:56
something that we don't get
to remove ourselves from.
13:01
We don't get to other that.
13:04
We are part of this.
13:05
So in cultivating anti-racism, it does
require that ongoing, sustained effort.
13:06
And almost as importantly or
equally importantly,
13:11
is this idea that anti-racism
is relationship driven.
13:14
That means it's part of a human contact.
13:17
There is no arrival or outcome.
13:20
There is no quantitative measure of
you have done this or you embody this.
13:23
It's all about who we're in relationship,
13:27
the values that we're in relationship
with, and how we move towards them.
13:29
So as we're talking about this, I wanna
invite you again to check back in with
13:35
your body,
noticing what might be occurring.
13:38
If there's new tension arising, maybe
some space, if your mind is swirling.
13:41
One of the most important things in my
practice here is to pay attention to
13:47
the body as we engage with these topics.
13:50
And to build relationship and resilience
by staying connected and not distancing.
13:52
So whatever it is that you're feeling.
13:59
Again, if there's some discomfort,
this is all material for
14:02
us to work with and get to know.
14:06
Welcome, welcome, welcome to your
discomfort, welcome to your space,
14:10
welcome to your possibility,
welcome to your fear.
14:14
All of it is welcome in this moment.
14:17
One of the most important
ideas within this work is.
14:22
Or I should say, one of the areas
where folks often get hooked, and
14:25
that defensiveness can come up
in these early conversations,
14:29
is when folks are misinformed about
the distinction of these three ideas.
14:33
White supremacy,
white bodies, and whiteness.
14:37
In my work in family therapy field,
I study whiteness.
14:41
And the ways in which the culture,
the values, behaviors, cultures of white
14:44
supremacy get communicated and
reinforced between people.
14:49
So to those who have heard
the ideas that I'm not to blame,
14:52
or I can't be held accountable,
or what have you.
14:58
My avenue into anti-racism work
is working with whiteness.
15:04
Because this is something
that we can change.
15:07
None of us can change or even necessarily
be blamed for the amount of melanin in our
15:10
skin tone, for being ancestral
people of settler colonists.
15:14
But we can be responsible for
15:18
how white supremacy is reinforced
by the whiteness that we embody.
15:20
For those of you who have are unfamiliar
with Tema Okun's dismantling racism.
15:27
This is one of the most important
resources I've ever encountered in my
15:32
journey with anti-racism.
15:35
And Okun outlines a few key features
of white supremacist culture.
15:37
Now, this is the idea of not folks in
hoods parading through Southern towns, but
15:40
these are the tenants, these
are the values of white supremacy culture
15:45
that get communicated day in and
day out in our society.
15:49
Perfectionism, urgency,
defensiveness, individualism,
15:53
objectivity, power hoarding.
15:57
And we don't have to look very far to
see that these values are, my gosh,
15:59
entrenched in tech culture especially.
16:04
I mean, they're entrenched in
our industry, in capitalism,
16:07
they're absolutely part and parcel.
16:10
So when you see these characteristics
coming up in yourselves or
16:12
in your colleagues or in your cambam
boards, in your your planning visions,
16:16
consider that these are the values of
white supremacy culture playing out.
16:20
And that these are the values that
your colleagues of color especially
16:25
are confronting every day So,
where does mindfulness fit into this?
16:30
We mentioned earlier that
intention doesn't equal impact,
16:38
and it's important to remain there.
16:42
And I doubt that you would be here if
you weren't interested in cultivating
16:44
anti-racism and seeing how this practice
can continue to grow into your work life.
16:48
So again, by acknowledging that we are
here in this inherently biased system that
16:53
allows us to distinguish
our roles as disruptors and
16:58
to become anti-racists within this system.
17:01
We have a lot of learning to do and
a lot of that learning,
17:05
based on my Background and
educational experience,
17:08
it comes down to starting with ourselves,
that starts with the nervous system.
17:11
So even if in pie-in-the-sky situation,
your company instituted anti-racist
17:17
policies today, it would take a long
time to build anti-racist culture.
17:22
Because policies does not equal values.
17:27
Anti-racism takes people doing
inner work on themselves.
17:30
It takes white people doing
inner work on themselves,
17:34
that is reflected in those mutual and
consensual relationships.
17:37
I imagine a lot of us here have either
been or been in connection with colleagues
17:40
of color that were tokenized,
have been exploited, race baited,
17:45
queer baited, into spaces that
asked them to do more work.
17:49
This is all about how we as often
the majority, white, cisgender,
17:53
heterosexual people who make up so
much of the tech industry especially.
17:59
Coming from affluent backgrounds,
very often a lot of educational access,
18:05
class mobility.
18:08
Neurotypical, currently able-bodied.
18:09
We need to slow our roll and recognize
that this work does start with us.
18:17
Our work within the network of
anti-racism begins with us.
18:22
Let's keep going.
18:28
What a perfect opportunity for
some breathing, yes, it is.
18:30
So this is again an invitation.
18:34
This GIF is a model for a deep breath
that you are invited to take here.
18:38
You can either track with it, Modeling
that full expansion of the diaphragm.
18:47
Or breathe on your own pace,
just taking a moment to digest and
18:56
notice whatever is occurring for us.
18:59
We'll linger here for
just a moment longer.
19:03
There is so much content in
the intersection of anti-racism and
19:09
mindfulness that it makes
sense that there's activation,
19:12
that there's tension arising.
19:15
I wonder if y'all are feeling it too.
19:17
Last one.
19:21
All right, so
nervous system regulation is,
19:29
I'm such a nerd for the nervous system.
19:34
A lot of you have probably heard of fight
and flight, maybe even fight, flight,
19:38
and freeze.
19:43
More recently, there's come into
the collective vernacular, fight, flight,
19:44
freeze, and fawn are all potential
responses from the nervous system.
19:49
These are all also part of
the sympathetic nervous system.
19:54
So when we get activated,
This flight, freeze phone response.
19:58
It can hijack the nervous system.
20:03
It is this a Magdala, reptilian response,
which is like, I'm on, I go.
20:05
It's not a conscious choice, but that
doesn't mean we're not responsible for it.
20:10
So when we perceive danger,
the sympathetic nervous system
20:14
with all of these F responses, it does
get triggered, it does get heightened.
20:17
And that's when we perceive danger,
real or imagined.
20:22
Now, racism as a nervous system response,
it's been embedded into our learned
20:25
perceptions in this
white supremacy culture.
20:29
The tropes about Karen's in the park
calling the police on black burgers in
20:32
Central Park.
20:37
That was a couple years ago.
20:38
Or maybe you have the experience of
clutching your purse a little bit closer
20:39
when you see a black man on the street.
20:42
That is the nervous system learned
response of a white supremacy culture
20:44
being enacted in the moment.
20:47
It's not always a conscious choice.
20:49
But these patterns that we have learned,
perpetuated by media and
20:52
stereotypes and the incredibly racist
policies that take black men, especially,
20:55
into the prison system.
21:00
There's all of this information
feeding into our nervous system, and
21:03
our nervous system response.
21:06
So, this is where we
start to get a choice.
21:07
This is actually an entry point for
choice for us.
21:08
Parasympathetic nervous system,
on the other hand,
21:12
are basically the two
ways that we can respond.
21:14
So, the easiest way to remember this,
21:16
parasympathetic is when we're
in the rest and digest.
21:18
We've had a good meal or
a little clan of migrant caveman, or
21:20
just chilling by some rocks,
the sun's going down,
21:25
we got a chance, ate some good grass or
elk or whatever.
21:29
And we are in the rest of digest,
we are safe.
21:33
We are able to take a chill moment,
survey our surroundings,
21:36
process our food and metabolize what
we've taken in, get some rest, right?
21:40
This is what white people, myself
included, have a long journey to go on
21:48
as how we integrate this process into the
cultivation of our anti racism journeys.
21:53
So, to be clear, rest and
digest doesn't mean checkout or disengage,
22:00
it is a conscious regulatory response of,
this is part of the work.
22:05
I intentionally am choosing
that this is part of the work.
22:09
Within that landscape, one of the charges
that I hope that you hear in this
22:14
presentation today, is that it is your job
as the white folks who are in the room.
22:19
And I am speaking specifically
to white people right now.
22:26
It is your job to regulate your nervous
system when you're uncomfortable.
22:29
It's no one else's job to do is for you.
22:32
And that it is through this
process of regulating,
22:34
which we're gonna talk more about
within the scope of an hour.
22:37
There's so much more here that
is hours worth of information.
22:41
But to talk about what must we do and
what is the utility of this?
22:45
So, maybe you've heard
the term white fragility.
22:50
This idea of distress tolerance.
22:54
That we get so distressed, that white
people turn into this fragile state of,
22:57
I just can't handle it,
it's too much for me.
23:02
I'm overwhelmed.
23:06
White tears, white women tears,
23:07
a lot of these social tropes and
things like Instagram and
23:10
Twitter have begun to normalize
as aspects of white supremacy.
23:15
Iterations of it,
is this idea of white fragility and
23:20
what we can also call that,
is the lack of distress tolerance.
23:23
My teacher, Reverend Angel,
23:27
she talks about how white
people are not fragile, okay?
23:29
Straight up, we're not fragile.
23:32
We came over the Rocky mountains in
covered wagons with the wooden wheels.
23:34
We brought our cattle
in our buried plants.
23:39
We hiked over the Rockies.
23:43
We settled the planes as settlers,
we're not fragile, okay?
23:44
We can be tough people.
23:48
But it's around this issue
that we turn to glass.
23:50
Why, why is that?
23:54
It's a learned response.
23:56
So, it's a learned response,
that means that we can unlearn it and
23:58
find new ways to go.
24:01
Let's talk about the ratio of difference.
24:04
And this is another threat response
that the nervous system sees.
24:06
When someone either has a culture that's
different, attitudes that are different,
24:09
ways of communicating that are different,
skin tones that are different.
24:13
It's easy for the nervous system, based
on our wash in white supremacy culture,
24:17
to perceive that that's a threat.
24:21
And we need to recognize
that that's happening.
24:24
Again, it's so easy to say like,
I'm a good white person.
24:27
I've done enough work.
24:30
That doesn't happen for me.
24:31
Look, on a nervous system level,
on a cellular level, on a hormonal level,
24:32
we have been baked in this society
that normalizes it every day.
24:37
Encountering that and
recognizing it and working with it,
24:41
that is a huge part of this process.
24:45
One of the things that was mentioned
on the flyer for this event,
24:48
is talking about racism as invisible.
24:51
And this seems really essential to dive
into because it really dovetails exactly
24:53
with what we're talking about here.
24:58
Racism at work is not invisible, man.
25:00
White people are just numb, we are numb.
25:03
And I think it's important to
use that word deliberately.
25:05
It's not that we are distant or
somehow non-perceptive,
25:08
it's that we have literally numbed.
25:15
That some part of us has taken,
either been overwhelmed or
25:18
just dissociated,
socially cultivated on purpose.
25:23
We are on purpose,
made to be numb this experience.
25:26
Any racism in institutional settings
is built through solidarity.
25:31
The question becomes what do we do?
25:35
What do we do?
25:38
Do you feel like I do and
feel the grief of that statement,
25:39
that we are collectively
numbed out to this?
25:41
Where do we go from here?
25:44
So because in the workplace anti-racism,
again, in this institutional settings,
25:46
we could have the policies all day, but
whether or not the relationships are there
25:51
to actually act on them and to build
solidarity together, that's essential.
25:55
So again, real solidarity is built through
what Buddhists would call right actions.
26:00
Something that is deliberate,
intentional, with forethought and
26:04
perception with the benefit
of all beings in mind.
26:08
And that right action, of course, they're
born out of accountable relationships.
26:11
That's how we learn and grow together.
26:14
Real relationships require
our feeling states.
26:19
Require us to be in contact with
all of these activation cycles,
26:24
with the programming and
the learning that is playing out day in,
26:27
with people that you're in relationship
every day with, with your colleagues.
26:31
Again, we're not here to comprehend
the experiences of others.
26:36
This is not a primer on how to know
what your black colleague is feeling.
26:41
But this is about how we, for
the white folks in the room,
26:45
get in contact with the body
information that's there already.
26:49
It's there.
26:53
We have to get in touch with it.
26:55
And that can be a challenging aspect of,
there are so
26:56
many ways to cultivate anti-racism and
so many means,
27:00
that in a technological age, there is so
many opportunities to be dehumanized.
27:05
Being with the humanist of yourself,
before we go into your colleagues
27:11
experience, before we go into
making plans about disrupting.
27:16
It's essential from my perspective and
from those who have taught me,
27:20
that we are in touch with ourselves to
know about these activation cycles and
27:24
about what's going on here.
27:29
And then that's how we become more human.
27:31
I could go off about the risks of
dehumanization in our society today.
27:32
I think it's essential that we
continue to be cultivating.
27:38
What does it mean to be human?
27:41
How do we become more human as we
become more technologically advanced.
27:42
It would be so easy for it to supersede
and if you look at the rates of mental
27:46
health and youth today, suicidality and
and isolation, it's scary.
27:51
It is scary.
27:56
We really,
especially as folks who are Treehouse and
27:57
teaching folks entering into this field,
we need, it's so important.
28:01
We need to keep cultivating humanists
together and learning how to do that and
28:06
talking about this stuff.
28:10
How's your body feeling?
28:16
This is a moment for,
I'd love to just hear in the chat here.
28:21
Red Angel is awesome.
28:27
Let me hear a couple of you.
28:30
I know I'm not alone in here.
28:32
What's your body feeling as
we're talking about this?
28:33
Be patient.
28:46
Anybody noticing tension or temperature?
29:04
>> [INAUDIBLE]
>> Yeah,
29:12
difficult conversations with relatives.
29:17
Noticed that word stressed.
29:19
Jaw clenching.
29:23
[LAUGH] Yeah with COVID era abating and
travel becoming possible.
29:26
There maybe more encounters on, imagine
quite a few of us have some summer plans.
29:33
Let's be with these feelings for
29:46
a moment because this is
such important information.
29:48
So often in anti-racist spaces and in our
society, we're asked to react, right?
29:52
See an Instagram post about another police
murder of a black man, react, react,
29:57
react, that to be with
the feeling state here.
30:02
There's so much information.
30:05
Right here in these feelings.
30:07
Right on.
30:19
Yes, Slowing it down, right?
30:25
Urgency is one of the tenants
of white supremacy culture.
30:32
We can't talk about this if
we are barreling through,
30:34
we have to be with these feeling states.
30:37
Breaks my heart how so many of us, right,
have been socialized in ways to just
30:41
move right out of this, move into action,
do, do, do, productivity.
30:46
Let's take a couple more
breaths just being here.
30:53
It's really good to hear
your resonance today.
30:57
Okay, this is a really good moment for
us to go again into a deeper practice.
31:12
So I'm gonna again offer the invitation
to notice the strength of your spine,
31:17
coming up right, out of your sacrum,
31:22
allowing the curve of your spine
to sort of naturally come up.
31:24
The shoulders are coming off,
hanging loose and relaxed,
31:28
which opens up your chest.
31:32
Your arms can bend naturally
at your elbows, and
31:34
let your hands fall
wherever they wanna be.
31:37
You can have them palms down on
your thighs or open, if you like.
31:40
Tucking your chin slightly to
elongate your cervical spine and
31:43
allowing your eyes to gently close.
31:46
This moment is your time.
31:50
Coming into contact with your breathing.
31:55
As your breath rises and falls, just
simply paying attention to wherever you
32:08
notice your breath most obviously, maybe
it's in the rise and fall of your belly.
32:13
But perhaps you feel it or
on the base of your nostrils,
32:19
riding in and out of your body.
32:23
I invite folks to stay in touch with
one point of contact in their body
32:26
around their breathing, rather than
trying to track the breath in and out.
32:29
See how close you can
get to the sensation.
32:33
And again, those thoughts
are rising as they're bound to do.
32:49
We're not here to shove them out,
we're not here to tamp them down.
32:52
We're just here to allow,
letting them past like clouds in the sky.
32:55
The thoughts are here too,
sensations in your bodies,
32:59
they're here too, whatever feelings
are arising, they are here too.
33:03
Right now we're being with the breathing.
33:11
Letting our minds and hearts and
33:25
bodies absorb the themes that
we're talking about today.
33:27
Taking a moment to invite the rest and
33:34
digest response to come into
this part of our practice.
33:36
If ever we get hooked by one of
those thoughts, just gently,
34:32
gently bringing ourselves back
to that sensation of breathing.
34:36
Noticing whatever is here and allowing,
34:53
Allowing sensations in the body to talk
to us, allowing maybe a tension or
35:02
a space you might be
encountering inside yourself.
35:07
Allowing those thoughts to
just pass right through.
35:12
Here we are,
35:18
For a few moments longer
with nothing to do,
35:27
nowhere to be, but right here, breathing.
35:31
And as we linger here just a bit longer,
36:14
I invite you to see if you
can relax a little bit more,
36:18
Land a little bit more deeply.
36:29
Softening,
36:36
Finding that ease in space,
just a little bit more.
36:46
Allowing yourself to unfold and release.
36:52
Paying attention to that sensation of
breathing, being right here with it.
37:13
On your next big exhale, I invite you to
seal your practice in whatever way feels
37:41
meaningful to you, And
come back to the room.
37:45
Thank you so much, thank you so
much for doing that with me.
37:50
I got some content.
37:58
My gosh, we're ahead of schedule.
38:06
Okay, well, that's good.
38:08
So we're gonna get to Q&A soon.
38:10
If you have some questions,
just allow that invitation to germinate.
38:16
Okay, here's some closing thoughts.
38:27
I really hope that you heard in this
presentation today that confronting racism
38:30
at work and the cultivation of antiracism
in your workplace, it's not an issue for
38:35
the folks of color in your office.
38:39
It is not an issue for their ERG,
it is not an issue for
38:42
the one brown manager that you might have.
38:47
Please hear, this is an issue for
you, this is your issue.
38:51
Living in a white supremacy culture
has taken something precious from you,
38:57
it's taken something
precious from all of us.
39:02
It's taught us how not to be fully human.
39:06
There's a lot of pain in there, right?
39:11
White supremacy culture has made
such an impactful denial on
39:15
our ability to be in connection and
to learn about boundaries,
39:20
and consent, and
love in the meta sense, right?
39:25
I'll leave it to one of
my favorite authors,
39:30
Nobel laureate Toni Morrison,
who put it so rightly.
39:34
If you can only be tall because
someone else is on their knees,
39:37
then you have a very serious problem.
39:41
White people have a very,
very serious problem.
39:45
Let's hear it one more time, if you
can only be tall because someone else
39:50
is on their knees,
you have a very serious problem.
39:55
White people have a very, very serious
problem, and it is ours to work with.
40:00
I hope in this presentation you heard
some hope today, because there is hope.
40:09
There is hope that with nervous system
regulation, with mindfulness practice,
40:14
we can begin to reignite those feeling
capacities and the sensations, right?
40:19
To come back into contact with
these pieces of ourselves
40:24
that have been numbed out and
are continuing to be grated on day in and
40:28
day out by white supremacist society.
40:33
There's a lot that we can say about the
multitude of ways to cultivate antiracism.
40:36
And this is one, this is one way
that I have been taught to grow into
40:41
my personal responsibility [COUGH] for
how to be an antiracist and
40:46
what my work is to grow
into that identity.
40:51
And to learn that it's not about arrival,
not at all, it's about cultivation and
40:54
practice.
40:59
And that for me, the tools of mindfulness
and of noticing these sensations
41:00
that I like to avoid, that I've
been numbed out to, it's essential.
41:04
It's essential for
staying in the long game and for
41:10
learning more about
what that really means.
41:12
So this is the end of the content here.
41:16
I'm gonna pop over to the Q&A tab and
see what y'all have to say.
41:19
Let's see what's going on here.
41:28
Okay, session Q&A tab.
41:29
Understand that you can upvote
questions that seem interesting.
41:36
Let's hear what you've got to say.
41:41
Are there thoughts lingering,
questions, experiences?
42:11
We jammed through a lot of content here,
and I invite you,
42:26
as we linger a little bit
longer here in this space, and
42:31
my cat is doing her
thing in the other room.
42:36
I hope you can stay with the feelings
that you came into contact with today and
42:39
explore them on your own pace,
in your own time, in your own practice.
42:45
Folks are welcome to use that
Q&A feature or the chat.
42:53
But in the meantime,
I will pop this on here.
42:57
This is a invitation to get
in touch with me on LinkedIn.
43:02
It's my QR code.
43:05
I'd love to hear from you.
43:06
Great, a question, perfectionism and
urgency feel like part of my personality.
43:09
I'm not white and it's hard to hear and
43:13
process that those are aspects
of white supremacy.
43:15
Any suggestions for resources?
43:17
Ooh, okay, got a couple coming-ins, great.
43:20
Carla, thank you so much for
your question and for the invitation.
43:25
Let's see.
43:32
Well, one of the resources that
I encourage everyone I can to
43:35
get in touch with, Reverend Angel
Kyodo Williams wrote this book,
43:39
she coauthored with two other black,
queer, Buddhist, academic folks.
43:44
It's called Radical Dharma: Race,
Love, and Liberation.
43:49
And basically everything I know about
this approach to antiracism has
43:52
come through their work,
contextualizing the role of connection and
43:57
of meditation and regulation in
building those resources long-term.
44:02
Viewer asks about perfectionism and
urgency.
44:07
So I would say, as someone who is white,
44:11
I'm not gonna pretend to offer
you suggestion about how to
44:14
navigate the complexities of
being perceived white-passing or
44:19
some of the experiences that
I simply can't comment on.
44:25
If you aren't familiar with their work,
I really encourage everyone,
44:30
everyone to check it out.
44:34
They can hold space for
complexity in a way that I admire deeply.
44:35
But in terms of perfectionism and
urgency, Tema Okun and
44:41
dismantlingracism.org, they
spent a long time cultivating
44:45
the article that those
tenants have circulated from.
44:50
On a comment of your personality, without
knowing more about your background and
44:54
experience, specifically these
tenants are, I wonder if like,
45:00
when we talk about personalities or
how we relate,
45:05
I wonder to what degree that
has to do with socialization.
45:09
Were you socialized to
perform perfectionism?
45:13
Were you socialized that
urgency is a necessary part?
45:16
For me, attitudes and
45:21
behaviors are not necessarily about what
Buddhists would call the essential self.
45:22
Those are learned traits.
45:27
And I wonder how much they're
serving you in your daily life.
45:29
Of course they have utility.
45:33
Of course in spaces like this,
they make sense to be,
45:34
those are things that are exploited,
right?
45:36
We wanna do a good job,
we wanna please our boss,
45:38
we wanna get things that are on time,
we wanna achieve.
45:40
We wanna be safe, right?
45:43
We wanna be provided for in capitalism.
45:45
We wanna climb the ladder as
those things require us to do.
45:46
So my inquiry or
my question back to you is like,
45:51
to what degree were you taught that
those are part of who you are?
45:55
And to what degree are those things
that you learned how to use to survive
46:00
this super dehumanizing space
that we live in, our society and
46:05
capitalism staggering,
the haves and the have nots?
46:09
And that those tenants of white supremacy
culture are how we are taught to
46:12
navigate and survive.
46:17
Thank you so much for your question.
46:19
Got another question here, how can I tell
if my mindfulness practice is working?
46:21
That's a fun one.
46:24
My answer to that is that it's working,
46:27
[LAUGH] it's working because there is
no arrival, there is no end point.
46:30
A lot of the stereotypical tropes about,
46:37
again, the clear mind, empty mind,
46:42
enlightened dude, I think it's kinda BS.
46:46
For those of us in North America,
in settler colonialism, in white supremacy
46:51
cultures, in late stage capitalism,
in the Anthropocene, right, where species
46:56
die off all the time, mindfulness
practice is working if you're doing it.
47:01
Because it's meeting you where you are,
right?
47:06
It's not about being in some endpoint,
47:08
it's not about achieving or
demonstrating or proving.
47:12
One of the things that might be helpful
to ask about just with yourself
47:17
is not how dedicated are you,
but do you have some consistency?
47:22
Do you have people that
you're checking in with?
47:27
In Buddhism, we talk about the three
jewels, Buddha, dharma, and the sangha,
47:30
and that loosely translates to
the teacher, the group, and the truth.
47:34
We need a teacher to guide us and
to show us the way, we need the truth or
47:38
the dharma, the teachings of
the path to go forward, and
47:43
we need each other, we need each other.
47:47
So if you are in communication or
if you're in relationship with sangha or
47:51
a practice group, if you're looking for
that, there are lots of resources around.
47:56
But I would encourage you to explore what
those different pieces of the process or
48:02
the puzzle mean to you, and if maybe you
need more support in one of those areas.
48:06
Got one more question here, can I
recommend a mantra or affirmation for
48:12
meditating on antiracism?
48:16
My God, that's such a great question,
thank you.
48:18
Let's see.
48:23
The words that are coming up as I check
in with my body in response to your
48:31
question are, this is my work,
this is my work.
48:36
This is what's here with me,
this is what I bring to the table,
48:39
these are the pieces.
48:44
Lama Rod Owens,
48:45
who's one of the coauthors of that
Radical Dharma book I mentioned, he has
48:46
an amazing piece of advice that has really
influenced why I'm here with you today.
48:51
And he says, find the work that is yours,
48:56
find the work that is yours,
and commit to it 100%.
49:00
I don't know about y'all,
but I definitely,
49:04
in the socializations
around white supremacy,
49:07
I have had this idea at points in
my life where I need to do it all.
49:10
And I can despair when I perceive
that there is so much to do and
49:13
that individuals are incapable
of doing it all.
49:17
With that said,
we don't have to do it all.
49:22
That's white supremacy culture to
think that we have to do it all.
49:27
What we have to do is find the work that
is ours, find the work that is yours,
49:29
and commit to it 100%.
49:34
So in my experience, the ways that I
have come into this moment with you, and
49:36
the ways that I embody antiracism in
my life and that I work towards it and
49:40
that I learn from continuously, is through
recognizing the work that is mine.
49:45
This is my work.
49:50
What does your body show you
that is your work in this world,
49:51
in the sphere of cultivating antiracism?
49:56
What do you have to contact and approach?
49:59
And We haven't even talked
about the word messy but
50:03
like, my goodness,
this work is incredibly messy.
50:06
It's incredibly human.
50:09
It's incredibly fleshy and visceral.
50:10
It is confusing.
50:13
There's so much there.
50:16
And what's arising for
you right now, that's yours.
50:18
Whatever that is, wherever that's gonna
lead right now, this work is mine,
50:26
this is my work.
50:30
Even if it's just right here starting
with yourself, this is my work.
50:33
And I encourage you not to end there,
to stay there.
50:37
But this is the entry point, right?
50:41
If we're ever gonna come
into relationship with PRC,
50:43
BIPOC-led Organizations or
movements, it's essential.
50:47
It's essential that you have
connection with yourself and
50:52
your feeling states to be
able to even perceive.
50:55
Am I welcome in this space?
50:59
Am I perpetuating colonization of
white supremacy by being here?
51:00
What does consent and
relationship mean and look like?
51:04
It requires us to be involved
in connection with ourselves.
51:07
So, hopefully that was helpful.
51:11
There's some chat going down.
51:17
NAP ministry bumped for that.
51:20
Yes, it's grind culture.
51:24
Why am I talking?
51:34
That's a good one.
51:35
You guys are really dropping some
beautiful stuff here in the chat,
51:39
thank you Beautiful.
51:43
We've got a few more minutes
before we close up formally.
51:52
Anyone else feel like,
Having their voice heard?
51:57
Asking question?
52:03
I'm really so
grateful that you were here, truly.
52:16
And it's a great privilege to be able
to share this space with you today.
52:20
I know you're out there through
this [LAUGH] funny little camera
52:29
I'm looking at.
52:34
Thank you.
52:35
You want some breath?
52:57
Yes, let's do it pretty quickly.
52:58
Here we go.
53:02
Yeah, taking those deep breaths with you
through the rest of the festival for
53:07
the rest of your tech learning journey.
53:11
I think I got this GIF from Giphy [LAUGH]
53:14
There are lots of materials online for
53:19
sources like this.
53:24
And I would love for
any of you to stay in touch.
53:32
I mentioned I'm accessible on LinkedIn,
you can go my website.
53:35
We'd love to hear how
your journey is going.
53:39
Feel free to drop me a link.
53:43
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